Today, I discovered that a Facebook friend of one of my Facebook friends is named – wait for it – Leviticus. This, I have determined, is the Best. Thing. Ever. And so I took it to Google Chat. (Because goodness knows I can’t have a conversation with my husband, who is two rooms over, in person when we’re both sitting in front of computers.)
ME: Can we name a kid Leviticus?
RYAN: Of course we can.
ME: Leviticus Baker. That’d be a boy, I reckon. And we could have a girl named Corinthians Baker… call her Cora… [pause for stroke of genius] She could be twins: First and Second Corinthians.
RYAN: That’s just excessive. I’ve vetoing Corinthians.
ME: Not with that grammar you aren’t. Okay, you can veto Corinthians, but then we get to name one Deuteronomy.
RYAN: Okay, we can bring Corinthians back. Cora is better than Deuter.
ME: I think I draw the line at Haggai, though. And Lamentations is a bit… Appalachian. Probably.
RYAN: I like it.
ME: You do? Lamentations Baker?
RYAN: It’s perfect.
ME: Better than Deuter? He’d have so much fun in middle school!
RYAN: Lamentations is the best ever.
ME: Okay, so we’ll have Leviticus, and the Corinthians twins, and Lamentations. Kid #4 can be Jude. [pause to check math] I guess that’d be kid #5.
RYAN: Jude?
ME: What, you’re okay with Lamentations but you don’t like Jude?
RYAN: I’m just curious if that’s short for something…
ME: It is short. It would have to be a very insignificant kid. It’s only one chapter long.
RYAN: Short for what?
ME: Short for a book of the Bible. Most are longer than one chapter. [send link]
RYAN: I’m not sure that I’d ever heard of the book of Jude before.
ME: Well, if you’re vetoing Jude, then what do you suggest for kid #5? Ecclesiastes? Habakkuk? I’m sorry, but that one just sounds like a hairball.
ME: BTW, I am so totally blogging this conversation.
Did You Have Juice? 
My bff and her husband named their kid Jude, but they’re Beatles fans. I was almost christened Maureen, until my dad said he got to pick the middle name and chose Cora. Semper Fi.
….I get the sinking suspicious that Tim would totally support naming a child “Lamentations”
…Of course, he *does* also want to visit Mt Disappointment in the Los Angeles National forest so that he can take a picture and post it with the description “Mt Disappointment…I rather expected more”
I like Jude, actually. Like Jude Law. But I like those older sort of names.
I have to say that this conversation is hysterical. I have to agree that Deuter would have a terrible time in middle school. I’m a bit surprised that there was no mention of having multiples and naming them Numbers. You could go with Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 (should the quints come).
You are hilarious. I love your writing.
Did you hear about the kid named “Facebook” in honor of the role that social media played in the organization of protests in Egypt? Totally different conversation, of course, but actually quite touching when the motivation is fully understood.
What amusing and sophisticated Google chats you have!
I love those names too 🙂 especially Dueter and Cora 🙂 ♥
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