18 Truths and a Lie

Spiders don’t scare me
but I fear the sea
and also big fish
but I am compelled to the ocean
like Renfield. Before I was two
I fought a dachshund for a sweet roll
and lost. The doctor was three sheets
to the wind when he stitched up
my face. To this day
I have a debilitating fear
of breakfast pastry.
I’m allergic to wool and cashmere.
I used to have no fear
except bridges; my eyes can’t tell
if I’m two feet up or twenty
but I wanted to fly helicopters
for the Coast Guard. Last night
I dreamed I wedged in too tight
while spelunking, which is a silly word
for a way to bury yourself and die.
Today two love songs made me cry.
Today my father-in-law got out of jail.
My church wants me to preach.
I used to say I’d never teach.
Sometimes I don’t know what to do.
None of these things are untrue.