Dear Little Guy,
This morning, I picked up d’Artagnan — who is going to be your kitty, and you’ll have to be very nice to him because he’s easily frightened — and carried him downstairs to say good-bye to your Daddy. d’Artagnan snuggled up against my shoulder, all 6-ish pounds of him, and for a moment I could almost imagine that it was you that I was holding.
I can’t wait until I can say to you, “Let’s go see Daddy,” and pick you up against my shoulder and carry you downstairs. I mean, I carry you everywhere with me right now, but I’m excited for the day when I can hold you up high instead of down against my bladder.
I can’t wait to cup my hand against that round little belly that the doctor showed us last night! That was the first thing I imagined when my brain caught up to the idea that there was actually a little baby inside me — the sensation of your tummy under my hand.
And when I think about finally getting to play with your little bitty toes, it almost makes my teeth hurt. That sounds very silly, I know, but one day I think you will understand.
I can’t wait to see if you have any hair, and what color it is. Last night the doctor told me that he saw red hair on the ultrasound but he was just being silly because there isn’t any color on it. I am pretty sure that you will have blue eyes, unless it turns out that you are the milkman’s, but it’s hard to guess what color your hair will be!
I can’t wait until you play kick-kick-kick with your Daddy. It’s his favorite game. I know you’ll probably be a few months old before you’re very good at it, but he will teach you.
I can’t wait until we can put you in the car and take you on adventures. I’m hoping you love to see and do new things, and that the world excites you. I can’t wait to introduce you to playgrounds and duck ponds and zoos.
I am so very excited to take blurry pictures of you, and dress you up in ridiculous outfits, and take you places you’re too young to appreciate, and read you books (Daddy says he’s going to read you the Articles of Conferedation) and see if all that kicking meant that you liked or hated the music Mommy was playing in the car the other day.
I can’t wait to learn how to be a mommy and to find out who you are going to be. I can’t wait to finally meet you.