Idol Speculation

This week, the men and women did a flip on quality. The men were outstanding, and the women were… eh. I mean, come on, they were amazing, but not as good as last week, am I wrong? Plus, with a few noteable exceptions, I thought the fashion decisions were a tad off. I actually thought Simon dissed the wrong outfits, but whatever…

But this isn’t a fashion show, it’s a singing/dancing/performing show. At the top of the singing game is unquestionably Melinda, who blew the everloving doors off of “My Funny Valentine.” I hope that her choice of song won’t prejudice voters against her; she made it pretty fresh and contemporary, so hopefully it will pay off. Then you’ve got LaKisha, the season’s vocal powerhouse – she’s not going to win any dancing awards anytime soon, but the girl’s got pipes. She’s also got a really old-fashioned sound, though, and lacks those “pop star looks” that the judges occasionally talk about, so she’s not liable to win. Stephanie had me worrying that we’d be finding out the color of her underwear as she straddled the stage in that high-slit dress, and I didn’t care for her song, but you can’t argue that she can perform her butt off. Sabrina closed off the night looking and sounding fantastic.

Gina and Jordin are both very good as well, if not as good as the other four. If Melinda is a 10, LaKisha is a 9.5, Stephanie and Sabrina are 9s, and Gina and Jordin are 8s. I’d like to see Gina do something more, y’know?

Then you’ve got my two 5s, Leslie and Haley. I keep expecting Leslie to be really good, and then she does something like that really gargled attempt at scatting. Haley is so pretty (although you wouldn’t know from last night) but there’s no real finesse to her performances.

Finally, you’ve got the girls at the bottom of the barrel, the girls that wouldn’t embarass themselves in a karaoke bar but who got into Idol on the merit of their hottie status. I begrudgingly give Antonella a 3 for last night’s performance, if only because she really nailed the high notes. I can’t stand this girl and the fact that Vote for the Worst is keeping her and her nekked boobies on the show drives me batty. Then you’ve got poor Alaina, undoubtably the prettiest girl on the show, who just really isn’t up to snuff. She’s scared, she’s unready, and she’s just not as talented. Tonight she earned herself a 2 and almost certainly a ticket home.

(Of course, if Alaina’s a 2, I shudder to think how far into the negatives I’d fall.)

If it were up to me, Antonella would be run out on a rail (wearing baggy sweats over her chastity belt, but that’s another story altogether), Alaina would be gently escorted out the door where a modeling agent would be waiting to rescue her and her gorgeous hair, we’d say good-bye to Sanjaya and his flowing locks, and Nick would whisper something in a quasi-sultry voice and slip off into the sunset.

I still say my American Idol is Simon.

UPDATE: Dial Idol, a remarkably accurate website that predicts winners based on busy signals to the voting lines, predicts that the top four are Melinda, LaKisha, Sundance, and Sanjaya. Sanjaya? What on earth? There’s too many people in the mix for it to accurately predict the bottom four, but it looks like Haley, Leslie, Stephanie, Gina, Nick, and Brandon are all in trouble. I’d be horrified if Stephanie or Gina got the ax. Well, as horrified as appropriate for a television show.

Did anyone else see the commerical tonight for tomorrow’s results show? They’re all “Thursday the results will be announced, and all we can say is brace yourself!” Next thing you know, there’s a clip of Simon pronouncing that the American voters have lost their minds. It’s all supposed to indicate that the results are shocking and we’ll be scandalized by the eliminations… but the results shows are live. They couldn’t possibly have that clip of Simon. And voting was still taking place for the women, so they didn’t even know what the results were going to be. It was all clips from previous years. What a scam!

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